Many people go through some sort of experience that will leave a lasting mark. As did I, multiple times to be honest. In the beginning you usually get a lot of support and understanding but as time passes, people go on with their lives and you…you feel like you are left with the experience and memories trapped inside. You know you need to go on with your life as well but it feels like you are stuck in that particular feeling.
The trick to dealing with those traumas? There is no trick!
For me, it was very hard to give my dad’s passing a place. Even after 10 years. I did not deal with it and I always explain the way I thought of dealing with it as followed; there is a little door in my brain and behind that door you will find everything I refuse to deal with. I could talk about those situations because the door is locked so I talk about it like it didn’t happen to me, like it was just a story that I’d heard. But two years ago that little room was overfull and all my emotions came out. Specifically my dad’s passing and the miscarriage I talked about in my earlier post were hard to deal with. I had panic attacks, at times I started crying without really knowing why and I felt extremely depressed. I was forced to find a way to let go. And I did, I found someone to talk to and they gave me certain exercises to use to deal with my situation.
Not long after, I got robbed in my car and it felt like I had to start all over again. I couldn’t be home alone for months, I never went anywhere alone and even when I had to get out of my car at work I felt so nervous because it felt like anyone would run up to me again and I had to fight them off again. Many people gave me advise about how to deal with it but let me tell you, “just try to get over it” and “maybe you should just try to be a little stronger” are not really words that help. When you have fought off two guys who try to take you with them in your own car you don’t just get over it or get stronger.
People will always have an opinion about whether you’re making the right choices when it comes to dealing with these kind of situations. Usually it would come down to “faster healing” or “just pushing through”. At times I really stopped talking about what happened to me and I hid the fact that I was scared when I had to go somewhere because I felt like people are tired of hearing about it.
And don’t get me wrong, I am not writing this to get pity from anyone. On the contrary! I am very happy where I stand in life right now and
(cliche alert ->) I believe that everything that happened made me the person I am today.
So this is not a “how to get over a trauma” post. This is just meant as an encouragement. Whatever happened to you and however you choose to deal with it, it’s okay. You are not overdramatic. Even if the situation happened years ago. You are allowed to deal with it as long as you need in any way you feel helps.
Dont let anyone discourage you or try to make you feel some type of way.