Like I’ve mentioned before, I’m aiming to get every kind of story out there…and this story is a mix of the experience of a friend from London and a friend from the Caribbean. It really made me see that no matter the upbringing, no matter the type of surroundings, this struggle can be an issue in every household, no matter the background, and it’s a shame. In 2019 it should not be an issue no matter what your preference in sexuality is.
What I mostly realize is the difference in the way God and religion came into the picture. When getting comfortable with your sexuality… there are so many aspects that people struggle with when they’re not straight. Straight people really underestimate the struggles people have when having to come out to the world when you’re gay, bi or whatever sexuality you identify with… Even when writing this, I had my doubts because I know the controversy that comes with this topic (especially in regards to religion). But standing behind my two friends who spoke out, I proudly write this article to show my support, my opinion, and my admiration for the strong women they are!
My friend from London, let’s call her Angela, basically made me focus on the fact that the connection with religion is so much more than the whole vision of “God accepts you or not”. I mean, obviously I always knew and believed that this is complete nonsense; and people can quote anything from the bible to me to make their point but I also stand behind the fact that everything we believe in (regarding the statements from the bible) are words written by humans. They wrote down the way they interpreted God’s word. Well, I (and many others with me) interpret certain points differently.
I think that for most girls that are brought up mostly religious and struggle with their sexuality, it’s a given that you struggle with the issue of “trying to be straight” because according to the people around you, that’s what God expects and just being yourself kind of falls into the background… According to society! My friend Angela was blessed enough with her surroundings to actually turn to God to get comfortable in her sexuality and I truly applaud her for that. She started out experimenting with being girly instead of being herself; the tomboy that she is. But one of the problems became that she’s gorgeous lol. She was getting a lot of attention and this made her very uncomfortable; especially because she was acting different in comparison to what she felt. Everything felt out of place because she did not want to feel the certain feelings that arose. She thought that it was all a phase and so she tried everything that she could to get rid of these feelings.
And this denial stage is very recognizable. Many girls struggle with this stage as well as the next stage; because after the denial comes acceptance; for some much more difficult than others; but at some point you just have to accept who you are and I truly hope that the denial stage doesn’t last that long for people that still have to come out in 2019 or in certain parts of the world where acceptance is still a foreign word.
My Caribbean friend still has issues with her sexuality till this day. We often have conversations about the struggles she has inside and I hope she will soon be able to accept herself for who she is, because no matter what you think the reaction of your world will be; it’s usually a lot less scary than in your head.
So if you read this; and I know you do :)… Your support system is stronger than you think and whatever happens you will always have people behind you that will stand up and speak out for you no matter what!
I hope that anyone that struggles with their sexuality will find a way to get through it and if you don’t…Just let me know and I will start to make this easier to talk about or I’ll just be a friendly ear to help you get through these difficult times 😉