So, as you know, (if you’ve read my previous blog posts 😊) I have had my share of “life lessons”. Multiple family losses, a robbery, a miscarriage and my fair share of struggles with my education are some of the events that made me the person I am today!
And as mentioned in Path to self discovery, I am grateful for every single issue that I have seemed to tackle.
But it wasn’t always this easy to know how to deal with everything. (“Easy” being used because of the lack of better explanation; it’s still not easy!)
When losing my dad (who passed away 13 years ago this week, may he r.i.p 💞) I started to make myself not deal with traumatic experiences. (You can read about that in Trauma or dramatics)
But because I hid my emotions for so long, they slowly creeped back in my daily life about three years ago. I started to get panick attacks. I had moments I started to cry for no reason and I didn’t want to get out of bed. I stopped going to school and I even had these outbursts at work.
I had never felt this bad without a reason in my life and it started to affect everything I do.
I mostly felt embarrased and hated to show my emotions because for people that I don’t know that well (or that don’t know me that well) I am know as the girl who is always happy and who always smiles. And that’s how I preffered it because before starting my blog I did not want to share personal details about my life with anyone that I didn’t trust. So imagine my horror when I randomly started crying at work, in class, in public transport and once even at a party lol.
My friends have been suggesting to talk to a proffesional because I just wasn’t able to find out what was wrong with me. But I really didn’t want to at first. First of all that meant that I had to share my life with a stranger, second of all that meant getting out of bed and third, so my friends think I am crazy… And when my dad passed away I had to go to a psychologist as well but at that time the root of the problem was clear so I didn’t mind.
As the outbursts, panick attacks and cry sessions got worse, I took my friends their advice and went to a psychologist. And man I’m glad I did.
You’ll be happy to know that I’m not crazy😁)
Sometimes when everything just gets too overwhelming and you don’t know what to do anymore a shrink is all you need! A friend of mine told me that you just have to find the right one. So it’s okay to “try out” a few before commiting to one. After all, you’re going to put all of your emotions out there!