Many women accept the situation they are in with a man (as a matter of fact this happens in all kinds of relationships). Thinking about their age and settling for someone just because they are scared of being alone. I too have been in a situation like that. Staying in a relationship far past the “due date”. At the time it didn’t have anything to do with my age but I knew I didn’t want to be in that relationship anymore. It was unhealthy and I was very unhappy. But I was afraid of being alone and I was afraid of living alone. So I stayed..about 2 years longer than I should have.
Thinking about this and realizing so many of us have been in these kind of relationships, makes me a little sad because a part of the reason is often society. We tend to not be comfortable with doing things alone. Partly because people tell us it’s not socially acceptable and partly because we are afraid of change.
I have been single for a couple of years now and I have often gotten “feedback” from people that I’m not getting any younger, how lonely it must be or that I’m too pretty to be single for so long (let’s not even get started with that shallow cr*p).
And I get it, there is never going to be a perfect person. You will always have to compromise and that’s okay. But if you have to change too much about yourself or if you know that you don’t want certain things in a relationship, you simply don’t have to! At least, that’s according to me(y). (get it? lol)
I promise you, if you do, you will never be truly happy because your significant other will irritate you, communication will lessen or stop and eventually you’ll just be two bodies in the same space who don’t connect whatsoever or worse. In some cases abuse is even a part of the equation and you still don’t get out of it just because you think you need someone. Sadly, I know many people who’ve experienced this themselves (a little more on how bad it can get in The tricky side of domestic abuse).
Now a lot of research has proven that there are great benefits of being single. First of all, it has been proven that when you are single chances are you take the time for personal growth. You work on yourself in different ways and focus on being the best you possible. Secondly, you value opportunities of pursuing things that interest you and that you’re passionate about more so than when you’re in a relationship.
I’ve had time to do so many things just for me. I’ve gotten to know myself, evolved myself professionally, emotionally and spiritually. I know what I want, I know what I want in a partner and I know how I want to live my life. Now I’m not saying that I believe that you can only find these things out by yourself but I do feel like it is way more pure when you have time to completely focus on YOU.
Apart from that it takes some time to get used to it but having fun by yourself is so fulfilling. Catching up on my reading and writing, doing research and figuring out different strategies for my blog and expanding my knowledge in different subjects (but mostly marketing), are some things I love to do.
Even better; my semi karaoke nights, my crying sessions during basically any TV show (read Netflix show) I watch with a big glass of wine (read bottle of wine on the weekends :)) are thing that make me happy when I go home after work or on the weekends. I can truly say I’ve learned to enjoy my own company. And I’m proud of it. Because many women don’t know how to deal with this change. They don’t take the time to get to know themselves or get comfy with themselves. Which really is a shame.
In my opinion you can only be truly happy with someone else when you’re at least a little comfy with yourself, wouldn’t you agree??Choose yourself!